AI Isn’t Just Answering Our Kids’ Questions. It’s Shaping Them

What a bedtime question and a chatbot’s answer revealed about raising thinkers in the age of suggestion

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A Pause From The Usual: A Deeper Take on AI & Our Kids

This week, I’m pressing a pause on our usual format to share something more personal: a real moment that made me think differently about how AI is shaping curiosity at home.

I’m calling this a Parent Perspective edition: space for deeper questions, honest reflection, and connection. Hope it resonates. Regular format returns next week.

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A Reflection From A Moment of Curiosity

The other night, my kindergartner and I were watching a short video about sleep when she asked, “What’s REM?”

A simple, honest question, the kind of moment that reminds me how much kids are always learning, even when we least expect it.

We turned to a well-known AI powered App to get a kid-friendly explanation. The app responded quickly, offering an answer about REM sleep. But just as I was ready to continue the conversation with my child, the app chimed in with:

👉“Would you like to learn about dreams?” 👉”I can also tell you about sleep cycles.”

I paused.

What started as a shared learning moment was suddenly being steered. The AI wasn’t just answering. It was directing, nudging, suggesting, orchestrating the conversation by offering its own set menu of next steps.

A Pattern That Feels Familiar

If you’ve used ChatGPT, Alexa, or any AI-powered tool lately, you might recognize this pattern: After each question, there’s often a next prompt. Another button to click. Another “shortcut” to the “next” idea.

At first, it seems helpful, like having a smart guide. But it made me wonder:

Is this technology truly nurturing my child’s curiosity, or is it quietly teaching dependence?

Are kids being inspired to ask more of their own questions or just learning to follow the AI’s lead?

What the Research Says

There’s real reason to be concerned. A growing body of research suggests that open-ended inquiry, the kind that starts with a child’s own curiosity and branches outward, is essential to foster deeper learning and creativity, while close-ended prompts can limit exploration and critical thinking.¹

A recent article in Nature Human Behaviour highlights that children’s learning thrives when they are encouraged to generate their own questions and pursue their own lines of inquiry, rather than simply consuming pre-packaged answers.²

On the other hand, most consumer-facing AI tools today are designed to keep kids engaged and efficient, sometimes at the expense of genuine curiosity. They tend to:

• present closed-ended questions,

• offer predefined suggestions,

• and often imply that the AI “knows best.”

These design choices may be subtle but over time, they shape how our kids think, what they expect from the technology, and even how they see their role in a conversation.

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From Wonder to Passive Consumption?

When a child is still learning how to learn, these design patterns matter. If the AI always seems to “know best”, we risk raising kids who look for the next prompt instead of asking their own follow-up questions.

Instead of exploring and forming their own questions, they easily settle and wait for the next suggestion.

This isn’t just about a distraction or screen time. It is about agency. How our kids learn to think.

Are we teaching our kids to be curious, creative, and critical thinkers or just passive consumers of information?

My Wishlist: AI That Coaches Curiosity

AI can open doors, but true understanding often comes from lingering with a question, exploring different perspectives, and sometimes even sitting with uncertainty.

So, what if AI could do more than just answer questions or suggest the next click?

As a Parent, here’s what I wish existed more widely in AI products for kids:

✅Open-Ended Questions:

Imagine an AI that responds to a child’s query not just with an answer, but with another open question that invites thinking: “What do you think?” or “How would you explain this to a friend?”

✅Source Awareness & Reflection:

AI could help kids analyze sources: “Want to know where this information is from? Would you like to explore other potential answers?”

✅Building Agency:

The best AI could perhaps act more like a coach, helping kids form their own ideas and feel in control of their learning. Not just following instructions or down the path of predefined menu.

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What We (Parents) Can Do Now

Until AI catches up with these ideals, I’ve started trying a framework with my kids to keep us grounded when we use AI together. I call it THINK:

• T – Take Time Before Believing:

  Pause and check if the AI’s answer is accurate. Don’t trust everything right away.

• H – How Does It Work?

  Talk about how AI generates answers. Think about whether it might be biased or missing information.

• I – Intention:

  Ask yourself why you’re using this AI tool right now. Are you learning, creating, or just passing time?

• N – Never Share Secrets:

  Keep personal info private. Don’t tell AI your secrets, passwords, or private details.

• K – Keep Your Brain in Charge

  Remind your kids. You’re the one in charge, not AI. Use your own judgment and talk to a trusted adult if unsure.

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Let’s Raise Curious Kids, Not Just Compliant Ones

I’m not anti-AI. I use it as a tool at work and think it has potential when developed and used properly. But, I also believe parents should have a say on how our kids experience this new wave of technology.

Let’s advocate for technology that doesn’t aim to hook kids but instead help them grow. A tool designed to spark curiosity, foster independence, and encourage critical thinking.

Our kids deserve technology that makes them more curious, not just more compliant.

Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

• 💡Have you noticed similar patterns in your child’s interactions with AI?

• 💡How do you keep curiosity alive in your family?

Reply and I may feature your ideas in a future edition!

Thanks again for reading. AI moves fast, so do kids. Let’s keep up together.

Dhani

1. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/03057260701828101

2. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-023-01734-2